Experiences We Don't Understand

Cross posted from elsewhere :Full credit to the original author


Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. We cannot easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current reality. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as "good."

This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having.

It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now.

A Question of Balance

I came across this write up which I found very interesting & thought provoking!
Thought that I should cross post it on my blog {Full credit to the original Author}


A Question Of Balance
One-Sided Relationships

One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more.

However, there are also relationships in which the balance has always felt one-sided. You may have a friend whom you like, but you have begun to notice that the conversation is always about their life and their problems and never about yours. You may also have a friend who seems to require an inordinate amount of support from you but who is unable or unwilling to give much in return. Over time, these relationships can be draining and unsatisfying. One option is simply to end the relationship, or let it fade out naturally. Another option is to communicate to your friend that you would like to create a more equal balance in which your concerns also get some airtime. They may be taken aback at first, but if they are able to hear you, your friendship will become that much more sincere. They may even thank you for revealing a pattern that is probably sabotaging more than one relationship in their life.

A third option is to simply accept the relationship as it is. There are many one-sided relationships that actually work. One example of this is a mentor relationship in which you are learning from someone. Another example is a relationship in which you are helping someone who is sick, disabled, or otherwise needy. In these instances, you can simply be grateful that you are able to help and be helped, trusting that the balance of give and take will even out in the big picture of your life.

Day 1 ......Goa trip!

Day 1 ..9th March 2008 Sunday

I wake up at 8.30 in the morning to see that Delhi is engulfed by freak fog ! Our flight is at 12.15 & I am seriously skeptical about whether the flight is on time .Adi insists on being optimistic hoping that the flight is on time . By 9.30 am we find that the fog has cleared up.I reach the airport meet Adi outside.....we check in rather smoothly[ I am a self confessed cynical on the threshold of optimism ]
.We go thro' the security checks....Adi is anxiously waiting to reach the 'Nirula 's at the security lounge so tat he can have the '' chicken submarine'' & coke.We are surprised to find a queue for the Nirula's snack bar.....the Airport security lounge resembles New Delhi railway station with passengers squatting on the floor! whew! ...the ripple effect of freak fog in the morning ! The flight is late.....we manage a place to sit next to the ''Israeli Hippie'' at the airport.......we finally do take off after much delay .....I promise myself never to travel by ''Deccan'' again....Adi is cursing me for making weird plans to go to pune first & then changing them to goa.
We land at the goa airport....ask for a prepaid cab...but don't hire it...we are in no hurry & decide that we can nicely explore the place as well as other options. .....we walk a little distance ...find a Qualis which drops us till after Panjim from where we manage another cab to Baga.....manage it all in 350/- bucks.....wow!
Adi & me reach Raman's [recommended by Arjun] ...however the beach thingy there was without A/c & expensive ....so we decide against it.... We finally manage another place called ''Hotel Shelsta'' on the Calangute -Baga road....an amazing location right where the ''Subway'' is.We drag our luggage & of course Adi is sweating & also constantly suggesting more technical ways to cart the luggage....I am thinking in my mind ''I wish Adi stops suggesting me his innovations & improvisations & instead drags my luggage too"" but this hight society bitch can barely manage to drag his luggage !!!!!! .....we check out the room....like it instantly ...its on the first floor....a large room with a balcony ...I am pleased to find that the A/c works[I am paranoid about the ''Return of my Allergy''] & delighted to find a small fridge...which will double up as a mini bar for the next one week. We rest for a while ....take a shower ...we walk down to''Britto's '' and decide to have dinner there [of course the recommendations of Shruti,Shefali & Arjun] are at the back of our minds.....we go there expecting the typical Goa lively scene & find our selves kinda disappointed to find a very sleepy family kinda crowd ...but the ''Calamari Rings''more than compensated for it.Adi is unusually keen on trying out Calamari ...which makes me pleasantly surprised.....we walk down Baga beach enjoying the karaoke at other beach shacks.....its breathtakingly serene especially where the Baga river meets the sea. Both of us lie in the sand on one side the Arabian sea ...on other side the Baga river ....the lights of the beach shacks far away ....gazing at the stars above ...listening to ''Chasing Cars '' on Adi's Walkman phone ...this was the defining moment of this Goa trip for me.........Stirred out of the blissful moment by a large wave.....we get up suddenly...wet & stunned....of course we soon realize that our phone got spoilt by the water & sand. There is a brief moment of disappointment & loss......we shrug it off.....we loudly say to each other ''It was just a phone'' ...Thanks Shefali for the inspiration.
We head back to the beach shacks....the karaoke still playing in the background.....with Adi joining it......we have a drink .....I have a beer & Adi has Vodka with Sprite .....we sit for a long time....talking , planning...reminiscing........we decide to head back to the hotel.....we go to Baskin Robbins on the way & decide to have ice cream.We have ''Gems Bond'' ...of course we laugh at our poor choice [Its obvious ..come on ..the name it self is Gems bond!!!!] We stop over at the Barber shop on the way to try & blow dry the phone.....it still doesn't work.....
Adi curses me all the way for making him walk such a long way back.....we decide to hire bikes the first thing in the morning tomorrow.......
we head back to the hotel......
Looking forward to the next day in GOA.......

Two years of discovering'' a part of me''!!!

Two years of discovering a part of myself.....

Evolution.....from ''core shaker''.....''adorable.''....to companion in the true sense...
Two years of those wake up calls in the morning....
Two years of your wake up calls to me....
Waking me up to realise my inner strength...to make me a much stronger & reassured person I am today....
The rain soaked bike ride at Goa....
The beach walks at night....
The ultimate LIT at TGIF.....
The sunday brunches with endless conversations...
The walk in the crisp winter chill at khan market....
The screaming ''liberation'' together...
The never ending discussions of ''Sex & the city''
The identification with Carrie & miranda......with Brian & michael...
Those endless phone calls....
Discussions of the frivilous & profound....
The endless talks about our respective relationships....
Those strong & those not so strong opinions....
The movies with nachos & coke....
The mall floor walks & shopping frenzys.....
Sitting out at CCD near mauryas.....
Those walks with conversations at Priyas...
The excitement of birthdays...
The midnight cake cutting & announcements....
Those nights we are out clubbing ...of my sloppy dancing & your scoring....

The list is endless.....
The last two years of discovering a part of me ...overwhelming!!

I shall find the light again!

This is for u.....

The light that seemed to guide me out
is nothing more than a faded hope
i have nothing left but my voiceless shouts
Nowhere to go, i'm at the end of my rope

Am i strong enough to just be friends
Or do i break off now and make it end
the walls that crumbled are back in place
And yet they fall when I see your face

Broken, bruised and battered
emotions dying, once again shattered
Again i caused myself this pain
And again in the dark I shall remain

Lost inside myself, every path leads me astray
Lost inside of you, and getting more lost every day

Broken, bruised and battered
Emotions reviving but still shattered
I will however pull myself through this pain
In the dark I shall no longer remain

I shall find the light again!!

FAITH....

Authored by ''A part of me''

This is for us baby


I stand here today somewhat bruised & broken
I put up a brave face, as always
I broke down today, i pushed him
I hit the one who matters the most

Many thoughts to share but oh so little time
But i will try.. because i have faith

He said you broke my heart, i said no
He said you don't know me, i said i do
Even all through this. Even after he's gone
I still love. Because i have faith

Today i hit, hit my soul
After he told me the truth
I reached a low i hope i never reach again
Its time to fly... because i have faith

I may lose lovers
I may lose friends
I may lose family
But i will never lose my soul.. Because i have faith